Title: A Little After Forever ( When 1+1=0 ) ( Sequel to When Destiny Talks (When 1+1=-2) )
Pairing: KyuMin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Drama
Summary: After Sungmin left, Kyuhyun now realized that nobody cared in the first place. Nobody bothered that he wasn't eating. Nobody bothered that he was crying. Nobody.A/N: I don't think it can be called angst. It isn't that sad. I just wrote in some sort of a Kyuhyun's POV of what had happened in his eyes because some of you wanted it. Its really short, not even half as long as the prequel. So anyway, let the music play for more effect. I know the songs are repetitive, but I assure you, if you let them play, it'll do justice to the junk that I wrote^^
Narrator's POV
Kyuhyun would never have thought that the day will come. The day Lee Sungmin would not be by his side anymore. The day Lee Sungmin wouldn’t be by his side to tell him white lies to make him feel better. The day Lee Sungmin wouldn’t be by his side to compliment his burnt fried rice and eat it heartily as if it’s the most delicious food in the world. The day Lee Sungmin wouldn’t be by his side to laugh at his corny jokes when the others jeered at him. The day Lee Sungmin wouldn’t be by his side to pull him into a hug when he felt like crying. The day Lee Sungmin wouldn’t be by his side to get yelled at whenever he felt like he needed someone to bend his anger to. And the day Lee Sungmin wouldn’t be by his side…to love him.
Kyuhyun had gotten used to having Sungmin by his side. He was used to having feel the warmth of Sungmin’s love wherever he goes. He was so used to everything Sungmin that he had taken the man himself, for granted.
He was so young and frightened as he stepped into the Super Junior’s dorm late that night. The hyungs staring faces were doing him no justice. But there was one face. One face which stood out. The face was smiling, a little too brightly. “Hello!” the person chirped. Kyuhyun smiled weakly, not knowing how to react but the person seemingly understood him and dragged him into one of the room. “You’re lucky you’re sharing a room with me,” the person said and shut the door.
He bowed, afraid that he’ll show off as arrogant but the person laughed. “You don’t have to be so formal with me. I’m not like them. I’m nice!” the person said, beaming. “My name is Sungmin!”
And he finally smiled, nodding. Sungmin had helped unpacked and as the night deepened, he frowned. He was still child-like, so afraid of the dark. So afraid of everything. And just when he thought Sungmin couldn’t be any nicer, the male put their beds together, smiling and promising to keep it a secret.
From that day onwards, Sungmin was always by his side. When he was stuck, unable to answer a question thrown to him by a reporter, Sungmin would laugh, and tell them that he’s still shy, complimenting him in every ways that he knew he was not.
One day Eeteuk had yelled at him because he had poured a little too much water in his ramen and he cried. Young Kyuhyun cried again. He felt so kicked and abandoned. Heechul had tripped him at least twice. Kangin had pushed him for countless of time and now Eeteuk. He curled up into a ball, crying on his bed.
That was when Sungmin came in, frowning as his eyes met his crying form. “What’s wrong Kyuhyun?” he had asked.
“E-Eeteuk hyung,” he hiccupped.
“What did he do this time?” Sungmin hissed.
“M-My ramen doesn’t taste nice,” he cried. “I added too much water…”
He saw Sungmin’s face softened and hands caressed his cheeks softly for a fraction of a second. “Aww, that’s alright. I added three bowls of water when I first cooked ramen. And it was for only one packet!” Sungmin had said, pouting.
“Really?” he asked, eyes shining. And Sungmin nodded, doing things with his face so ridiculously just so that he would feel better.
And Sungmin left the room soon later after tucking him to bed, promising that he won’t turn off the lights. Sungmin was perfect. Sungmin understood him in ways that he had thought was impossible. Sungmin was… Sungmin was the one he loves.
They got together after Super Junior’s first win when Sungmin had accidentally kissed him. Everything was simply heavenly for Kyuhyun but one day, he found himself in the car that just had to swerve and crash.
The last person that he thought of as his eyes closed was Sungmin. The first person he thought of as he regained consciousness was Sungmin. But Sungmin wasn’t there when he woke up. He saw Zhoumi there instead. “S-Sungmin?” he managed to croak out.
“Eating,” Zhoumi said simply, not even showing any sign of care that he had just woken up from a long coma.
“Mi, do you- oh! You’re awake!” Shindong shouted, eyes wide at the weak him.
“S-Sungmin?” he repeated.
“I-I’ll get him!” Shindong exclaimed as he ran out again.
Sungmin came, less than a minute later, panting harshly having ran across the large hospital. The male didn’t say anything but instead, leaned down and gave him a soft gentle kiss, making him feel as if he’s the most precious person on earth. “I love you,” Sungmin had said. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
“I love you too,” he stammered, voice straining.
“Don’t talk, your throat is still unwell,” Sungmin said, stroking his hair tenderly.
“K-Kiss me,” he said. He missed Sungmin. He missed the feel of the Sungmin’s warm lips soothing him. He loves how Sungmin let him dominates even though he was a hundred times weaker than he himself and he felt that feeling again. The feeling of being a precious person. They kissed and they kissed, completely unaware of the fuming man in the room with them.
He recovered after some months, all with the support and strength from Sungmin. Quite literally actually. Sungmin wouldn’t let him walk on his own, always finding a reason to carry him. To the dining table, to bed, to the bathroom, you name it.
He was then placed in a subgroup called Super Junior M. He wasn’t that happy that he’ll be separated from Sungmin but Sungmin had said that it was fine. Sungmin had given him a smile so bright that he felt reassured.
His assurance shook a little as Zhoumi suddenly confessed to him one day. “Kui-xian,” he had said.
“My name is Kyuhyun,” he replied coldly.
“Your chinese name is Kui xian,” Zhoumi insisted.
“I’m not Chinese and neither are we in Taiwan yet,” he hissed.
“Kui Xian,” Zhoumi called again, reaching for his arms. “I love you.”
“What?” he snarled.
“I love you,” Zhoumi repeated. “Can’t you be with me instead?”
And that was when Sungmin came in, dropping the food he was carrying with a clang. His eyes widened, missing the glare Zhoumi had sent to his lover’s way.
“M-Ming, how long have you been there?” he stammered.
“I-I’ve got to go,” Sungmin mumbled and ran off.
He looked at the taller male beside him sadly. “Sorry ZhouMi, I love him, that won’t change. I’ll see you around. Bye,” he had said and ran off Sungmin.
Sure they made up. Sure everything went fine but Zhoumi didn’t give up in Taiwan. There were skinships after skinships and he couldn’t push them off infront of the camera. He played along and suddenly one morning he found himself naked, limps tangled with Zhoumi’s equally naked form. He had screamed at Zhoumi but Zhoumi claimed that it was him who started it. He ran off, crying as the guilt took over him.
From that day on, Zhoumi would come to him, with a threat that he would tell Sungmin what had happened if he didn’t sleep with him again. And their unhealthy relationship continued. He got addicted to sex soon after and it was him who seek out Zhoumi after a few months. Zhoumi smirked, and told him that he had fallen in love with him without realizing it.
Kyuhyun didn’t know what to say but their relationship continued until they were back in Korea. He smiled as he saw Sungmin but as night came, and Sungmin had asked, “You slept with him didn’t you?”, he froze.
Sungmin still treated him as he normally does and he doesn’t understand. Somehow though, he continually slept with Zhoumi secretly in Korea. He didn’t know why, but he did. And he got found out, again.
Sungmin had gone home, to attend the funeral of his beloved grandmother and Zhoumi and him continually had sex the whole week. One the last day though, Sungmin came back a little too early and he knew he was doomed.
Sungmin never calls him Kyuhyun. Well, he did but it was only for a month when he had just joined Super Junior. From the month onwards, it was either, Kyu, Kyunnie, Kyuhyunnie, baby, honey, whatever it is,never Kyuhyun. But that day…
“Oh hello Kyuhyun,” Sungmin had greeted.
And he felt his heart broke. To top things up, he scrutinized Sungmin’s choice of clothings. It was Hyukjae’s one piece shirt. The long kind that you would use after sleeping with someone. He saw Sungmin giving Hyukjae a peck and saw Sungmin yelling at him for being informal. He saw it all and his heart almost stopped.
That day, things went downhill in an instant. He found out things that he didn’t want to. He found out things that were better off as secrets. He had screamed words that he didn’t meant. He had hurt a fragile Sungmin.
He was punched, he was kicked yet he couldn’t really feel the pain of it all. Instead, the pain came from Hyukjae’s piercing sharp words. Painful, painful aching.
And that day, Sungmin died. Died. Died. Died. Died. Died. Died. Died and will never come back. Died in a pool of blood. Died thinking that he was a mistake. Died with painful words on his arms. Died feeling sorry that he was in love. Died… alone.
What else could he do? He cried. He cried never ending tears, hiccupping badly. Nobody paid heed to him and it made him feel more alone than ever. Hyukjae wouldn’t even let him hug Sungmin for the last time. Furious… Hyukjae was furious with him. He was furious with himself.
He had always had a hunch that Sungmin wasn’t as strong and composed as he looked like. Hunch, a simple hunch. Why didn’t he even bother to find out more about it was beyond him. For a week, he stayed in their shared bedroom, not allowed to attend Sungmin’s funeral. He knew he deserved it and all he could do then was to avoid all human contact, avoid people. Because people have feelings and right now, his was just numbed. The members didn’t bother calling him out to eat or asking him to attend to his schedules.
Nobody cared. And now he realized, nobody had cared from the start. Only Sungmin did. Only Sungmin would drag him out of his bed, despite his loud whining and force some food into his mouth. Only Sungmin bothered getting yelled at for interrupting his Starcraft session just to make sure that he would eat some vitamins so that he wouldn’t fall sick. Only Sungmin… only Sungmin cared.
Now, when there’s no Sungmin, nobody made sure that he’ll eat a proper meal. Nobody made sure that he’ll take a bath. Nobody made sure that the lights aren’t faulty so that he wouldn’t sleep in the dark. Nobody made sure that his hair wasn’t too long. Nobody made sure of him…of anything.
A month after Sungmin’s death, Heechul barged into his room. It was the first time someone even talked to him. “I’m hungry. Make me food. Ryeowook’s not home,” the older male spat before storming out again.
He blinked, clueless at first before dragging himself out of bed and went to the kitchen. Sungmin had said that his fried rice was the best that he had ever tasted, so he decided to cook that up. He had never actually tasted his own cooking but the way Heechul screamed at him made him confused. “This is the worse fried rice I have ever tasted in my entire life! What is this?! ARE YOU TRYING TO POISON ME WITH SALT?!”
“B-But….” He stammered, close to tears as Heechul threw the plate into the sink and stormed off again. “B-But M-Ming said i-it’s the b-best…”
He took one spoonful of the rice that was left and with trembling hands, put it in his mouth, eyes widening at the awful taste.
____
“Baby~” Sungmin had whined at the sulking him. Eeteuk had just scolded him again for god knows what and he just wasn’t in the mood.
“What?” he snapped.
“I’m hungry,” Sungmin whined again.
“Then cook,” he said coldly.
“I want you to cook, please?” Sungmin said, playing with his puppy dog eyes.
“Fine,” he said finally and went to the kitchen with a smiling Sungmin behind him. ”What do you want?”
“Anything my Kyuhyunnie wants to cook,” Sungmin had beamed.
And he started cooking. He was still a little pissed and moody so he chucked anything he could see or remember into the pot. Within 20 minutes, he was done. “Here, eat it,” he snapped to the waiting Sungmin.
Sungmin smiled and started eating. His eyes widened immediately. “W-what?” he asked. “Is it that bad?”
“No, no,” Sungmin assured with a big smile. “I love it. It’s the best fried rice I’ve ever tasted!” “Really?” he asked, eyes sparkling for the first time that night and missed the victory smile Sungmin secretly gave.
“Yes, really,” Sungmin said and pulled him close for a kiss. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he beamed, mood lifting at Sungmin’s compliment. “Can I taste it?”
“No!” Sungmin said a little too quickly but he didn’t realize it. “This is mine! I’ll cook you something, so we’re fair then. But you can’t eat what’s mine!”
He laughed. “It is that nice?” he asked.
“Of course,” Sungmin nodded vigorously and finished up what was left on his plate quickly.
“No fair, I want a taste,” he whined.
“Too bad, it’s your fault for making it taste so good,” Sungmin chuckled. “Come, I’ll cook you your favourite waffle so we’re fair.”
“Yay~”
___
He trembled at the memory. How could Sungmin have said it tasted nice? How could any human beingeven finished this sort of junk?
“What the hell happened to my kitchen?!” Ryeowook’s voice came a second later. “Just because I live at the lower floor does not mean anyone can destroy this kitchen! Get up Kyuhyun before I kick you out. NOW!”
He dragged himself out, hiding his crying face. He grabbed Sungmin’s stuffed bunny as soon as he entered their room and went out again, this time leaving the dorm. He didn’t know how, but he found himself at the rooftop in the next minute.
He looked down, eyes crying and the bunny held close to his heart.
“This is where, a dumb me took your life away.
This is where a dumb me hurt you.
This is where a dumb me never let you go.
I’ve forgotten the promise…
I’ve forgotten that I promised you that we’ll die hand in hand
That none of us will die a day earlier, because it’ll hurt more
I’ve forgotten every little promise we’ve made
And I’m sorry.
Sorry doesn’t make a difference now, but I just am. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for not being able to love you the way you love me
I’m sorry for being someone that constantly hurt you
I’m sorry that I couldn’t see how much you’ve sacrificed for me
I’m sorry for cheating
I’m sorry for hurting you
I’m just so sorry
I’m so sorry for being me.
But don’t tell me to stop loving you.
Don’ t tell me to let you go.
Don’t tell me all those things…
Because I’ll keep loving you…
Forever… a little after forever…”
Sungmin had always said to think before he does things. Sungmin had always told him that he must not use his heart to think. But Sungmin isn’t here now. Sungmin…isn’t here.
And a crying him jumped.
“Only when forever is through, then tell me those words again.
Because only when forever is through, will I stop loving you.
And at the place that a dumb me took your life away,
I die.”
Pairing: KyuMin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Drama
Summary: After Sungmin left, Kyuhyun now realized that nobody cared in the first place. Nobody bothered that he wasn't eating. Nobody bothered that he was crying. Nobody.A/N: I don't think it can be called angst. It isn't that sad. I just wrote in some sort of a Kyuhyun's POV of what had happened in his eyes because some of you wanted it. Its really short, not even half as long as the prequel. So anyway, let the music play for more effect. I know the songs are repetitive, but I assure you, if you let them play, it'll do justice to the junk that I wrote^^
Narrator's POV
Kyuhyun would never have thought that the day will come. The day Lee Sungmin would not be by his side anymore. The day Lee Sungmin wouldn’t be by his side to tell him white lies to make him feel better. The day Lee Sungmin wouldn’t be by his side to compliment his burnt fried rice and eat it heartily as if it’s the most delicious food in the world. The day Lee Sungmin wouldn’t be by his side to laugh at his corny jokes when the others jeered at him. The day Lee Sungmin wouldn’t be by his side to pull him into a hug when he felt like crying. The day Lee Sungmin wouldn’t be by his side to get yelled at whenever he felt like he needed someone to bend his anger to. And the day Lee Sungmin wouldn’t be by his side…to love him.
Kyuhyun had gotten used to having Sungmin by his side. He was used to having feel the warmth of Sungmin’s love wherever he goes. He was so used to everything Sungmin that he had taken the man himself, for granted.
He was so young and frightened as he stepped into the Super Junior’s dorm late that night. The hyungs staring faces were doing him no justice. But there was one face. One face which stood out. The face was smiling, a little too brightly. “Hello!” the person chirped. Kyuhyun smiled weakly, not knowing how to react but the person seemingly understood him and dragged him into one of the room. “You’re lucky you’re sharing a room with me,” the person said and shut the door.
He bowed, afraid that he’ll show off as arrogant but the person laughed. “You don’t have to be so formal with me. I’m not like them. I’m nice!” the person said, beaming. “My name is Sungmin!”
And he finally smiled, nodding. Sungmin had helped unpacked and as the night deepened, he frowned. He was still child-like, so afraid of the dark. So afraid of everything. And just when he thought Sungmin couldn’t be any nicer, the male put their beds together, smiling and promising to keep it a secret.
From that day onwards, Sungmin was always by his side. When he was stuck, unable to answer a question thrown to him by a reporter, Sungmin would laugh, and tell them that he’s still shy, complimenting him in every ways that he knew he was not.
One day Eeteuk had yelled at him because he had poured a little too much water in his ramen and he cried. Young Kyuhyun cried again. He felt so kicked and abandoned. Heechul had tripped him at least twice. Kangin had pushed him for countless of time and now Eeteuk. He curled up into a ball, crying on his bed.
That was when Sungmin came in, frowning as his eyes met his crying form. “What’s wrong Kyuhyun?” he had asked.
“E-Eeteuk hyung,” he hiccupped.
“What did he do this time?” Sungmin hissed.
“M-My ramen doesn’t taste nice,” he cried. “I added too much water…”
He saw Sungmin’s face softened and hands caressed his cheeks softly for a fraction of a second. “Aww, that’s alright. I added three bowls of water when I first cooked ramen. And it was for only one packet!” Sungmin had said, pouting.
“Really?” he asked, eyes shining. And Sungmin nodded, doing things with his face so ridiculously just so that he would feel better.
And Sungmin left the room soon later after tucking him to bed, promising that he won’t turn off the lights. Sungmin was perfect. Sungmin understood him in ways that he had thought was impossible. Sungmin was… Sungmin was the one he loves.
They got together after Super Junior’s first win when Sungmin had accidentally kissed him. Everything was simply heavenly for Kyuhyun but one day, he found himself in the car that just had to swerve and crash.
The last person that he thought of as his eyes closed was Sungmin. The first person he thought of as he regained consciousness was Sungmin. But Sungmin wasn’t there when he woke up. He saw Zhoumi there instead. “S-Sungmin?” he managed to croak out.
“Eating,” Zhoumi said simply, not even showing any sign of care that he had just woken up from a long coma.
“Mi, do you- oh! You’re awake!” Shindong shouted, eyes wide at the weak him.
“S-Sungmin?” he repeated.
“I-I’ll get him!” Shindong exclaimed as he ran out again.
Sungmin came, less than a minute later, panting harshly having ran across the large hospital. The male didn’t say anything but instead, leaned down and gave him a soft gentle kiss, making him feel as if he’s the most precious person on earth. “I love you,” Sungmin had said. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
“I love you too,” he stammered, voice straining.
“Don’t talk, your throat is still unwell,” Sungmin said, stroking his hair tenderly.
“K-Kiss me,” he said. He missed Sungmin. He missed the feel of the Sungmin’s warm lips soothing him. He loves how Sungmin let him dominates even though he was a hundred times weaker than he himself and he felt that feeling again. The feeling of being a precious person. They kissed and they kissed, completely unaware of the fuming man in the room with them.
He recovered after some months, all with the support and strength from Sungmin. Quite literally actually. Sungmin wouldn’t let him walk on his own, always finding a reason to carry him. To the dining table, to bed, to the bathroom, you name it.
He was then placed in a subgroup called Super Junior M. He wasn’t that happy that he’ll be separated from Sungmin but Sungmin had said that it was fine. Sungmin had given him a smile so bright that he felt reassured.
His assurance shook a little as Zhoumi suddenly confessed to him one day. “Kui-xian,” he had said.
“My name is Kyuhyun,” he replied coldly.
“Your chinese name is Kui xian,” Zhoumi insisted.
“I’m not Chinese and neither are we in Taiwan yet,” he hissed.
“Kui Xian,” Zhoumi called again, reaching for his arms. “I love you.”
“What?” he snarled.
“I love you,” Zhoumi repeated. “Can’t you be with me instead?”
And that was when Sungmin came in, dropping the food he was carrying with a clang. His eyes widened, missing the glare Zhoumi had sent to his lover’s way.
“M-Ming, how long have you been there?” he stammered.
“I-I’ve got to go,” Sungmin mumbled and ran off.
He looked at the taller male beside him sadly. “Sorry ZhouMi, I love him, that won’t change. I’ll see you around. Bye,” he had said and ran off Sungmin.
Sure they made up. Sure everything went fine but Zhoumi didn’t give up in Taiwan. There were skinships after skinships and he couldn’t push them off infront of the camera. He played along and suddenly one morning he found himself naked, limps tangled with Zhoumi’s equally naked form. He had screamed at Zhoumi but Zhoumi claimed that it was him who started it. He ran off, crying as the guilt took over him.
From that day on, Zhoumi would come to him, with a threat that he would tell Sungmin what had happened if he didn’t sleep with him again. And their unhealthy relationship continued. He got addicted to sex soon after and it was him who seek out Zhoumi after a few months. Zhoumi smirked, and told him that he had fallen in love with him without realizing it.
Kyuhyun didn’t know what to say but their relationship continued until they were back in Korea. He smiled as he saw Sungmin but as night came, and Sungmin had asked, “You slept with him didn’t you?”, he froze.
Sungmin still treated him as he normally does and he doesn’t understand. Somehow though, he continually slept with Zhoumi secretly in Korea. He didn’t know why, but he did. And he got found out, again.
Sungmin had gone home, to attend the funeral of his beloved grandmother and Zhoumi and him continually had sex the whole week. One the last day though, Sungmin came back a little too early and he knew he was doomed.
Sungmin never calls him Kyuhyun. Well, he did but it was only for a month when he had just joined Super Junior. From the month onwards, it was either, Kyu, Kyunnie, Kyuhyunnie, baby, honey, whatever it is,never Kyuhyun. But that day…
“Oh hello Kyuhyun,” Sungmin had greeted.
And he felt his heart broke. To top things up, he scrutinized Sungmin’s choice of clothings. It was Hyukjae’s one piece shirt. The long kind that you would use after sleeping with someone. He saw Sungmin giving Hyukjae a peck and saw Sungmin yelling at him for being informal. He saw it all and his heart almost stopped.
That day, things went downhill in an instant. He found out things that he didn’t want to. He found out things that were better off as secrets. He had screamed words that he didn’t meant. He had hurt a fragile Sungmin.
He was punched, he was kicked yet he couldn’t really feel the pain of it all. Instead, the pain came from Hyukjae’s piercing sharp words. Painful, painful aching.
And that day, Sungmin died. Died. Died. Died. Died. Died. Died. Died and will never come back. Died in a pool of blood. Died thinking that he was a mistake. Died with painful words on his arms. Died feeling sorry that he was in love. Died… alone.
What else could he do? He cried. He cried never ending tears, hiccupping badly. Nobody paid heed to him and it made him feel more alone than ever. Hyukjae wouldn’t even let him hug Sungmin for the last time. Furious… Hyukjae was furious with him. He was furious with himself.
He had always had a hunch that Sungmin wasn’t as strong and composed as he looked like. Hunch, a simple hunch. Why didn’t he even bother to find out more about it was beyond him. For a week, he stayed in their shared bedroom, not allowed to attend Sungmin’s funeral. He knew he deserved it and all he could do then was to avoid all human contact, avoid people. Because people have feelings and right now, his was just numbed. The members didn’t bother calling him out to eat or asking him to attend to his schedules.
Nobody cared. And now he realized, nobody had cared from the start. Only Sungmin did. Only Sungmin would drag him out of his bed, despite his loud whining and force some food into his mouth. Only Sungmin bothered getting yelled at for interrupting his Starcraft session just to make sure that he would eat some vitamins so that he wouldn’t fall sick. Only Sungmin… only Sungmin cared.
Now, when there’s no Sungmin, nobody made sure that he’ll eat a proper meal. Nobody made sure that he’ll take a bath. Nobody made sure that the lights aren’t faulty so that he wouldn’t sleep in the dark. Nobody made sure that his hair wasn’t too long. Nobody made sure of him…of anything.
A month after Sungmin’s death, Heechul barged into his room. It was the first time someone even talked to him. “I’m hungry. Make me food. Ryeowook’s not home,” the older male spat before storming out again.
He blinked, clueless at first before dragging himself out of bed and went to the kitchen. Sungmin had said that his fried rice was the best that he had ever tasted, so he decided to cook that up. He had never actually tasted his own cooking but the way Heechul screamed at him made him confused. “This is the worse fried rice I have ever tasted in my entire life! What is this?! ARE YOU TRYING TO POISON ME WITH SALT?!”
“B-But….” He stammered, close to tears as Heechul threw the plate into the sink and stormed off again. “B-But M-Ming said i-it’s the b-best…”
He took one spoonful of the rice that was left and with trembling hands, put it in his mouth, eyes widening at the awful taste.
____
“Baby~” Sungmin had whined at the sulking him. Eeteuk had just scolded him again for god knows what and he just wasn’t in the mood.
“What?” he snapped.
“I’m hungry,” Sungmin whined again.
“Then cook,” he said coldly.
“I want you to cook, please?” Sungmin said, playing with his puppy dog eyes.
“Fine,” he said finally and went to the kitchen with a smiling Sungmin behind him. ”What do you want?”
“Anything my Kyuhyunnie wants to cook,” Sungmin had beamed.
And he started cooking. He was still a little pissed and moody so he chucked anything he could see or remember into the pot. Within 20 minutes, he was done. “Here, eat it,” he snapped to the waiting Sungmin.
Sungmin smiled and started eating. His eyes widened immediately. “W-what?” he asked. “Is it that bad?”
“No, no,” Sungmin assured with a big smile. “I love it. It’s the best fried rice I’ve ever tasted!” “Really?” he asked, eyes sparkling for the first time that night and missed the victory smile Sungmin secretly gave.
“Yes, really,” Sungmin said and pulled him close for a kiss. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he beamed, mood lifting at Sungmin’s compliment. “Can I taste it?”
“No!” Sungmin said a little too quickly but he didn’t realize it. “This is mine! I’ll cook you something, so we’re fair then. But you can’t eat what’s mine!”
He laughed. “It is that nice?” he asked.
“Of course,” Sungmin nodded vigorously and finished up what was left on his plate quickly.
“No fair, I want a taste,” he whined.
“Too bad, it’s your fault for making it taste so good,” Sungmin chuckled. “Come, I’ll cook you your favourite waffle so we’re fair.”
“Yay~”
___
He trembled at the memory. How could Sungmin have said it tasted nice? How could any human beingeven finished this sort of junk?
“What the hell happened to my kitchen?!” Ryeowook’s voice came a second later. “Just because I live at the lower floor does not mean anyone can destroy this kitchen! Get up Kyuhyun before I kick you out. NOW!”
He dragged himself out, hiding his crying face. He grabbed Sungmin’s stuffed bunny as soon as he entered their room and went out again, this time leaving the dorm. He didn’t know how, but he found himself at the rooftop in the next minute.
He looked down, eyes crying and the bunny held close to his heart.
“This is where, a dumb me took your life away.
This is where a dumb me hurt you.
This is where a dumb me never let you go.
I’ve forgotten the promise…
I’ve forgotten that I promised you that we’ll die hand in hand
That none of us will die a day earlier, because it’ll hurt more
I’ve forgotten every little promise we’ve made
And I’m sorry.
Sorry doesn’t make a difference now, but I just am. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for not being able to love you the way you love me
I’m sorry for being someone that constantly hurt you
I’m sorry that I couldn’t see how much you’ve sacrificed for me
I’m sorry for cheating
I’m sorry for hurting you
I’m just so sorry
I’m so sorry for being me.
But don’t tell me to stop loving you.
Don’ t tell me to let you go.
Don’t tell me all those things…
Because I’ll keep loving you…
Forever… a little after forever…”
Sungmin had always said to think before he does things. Sungmin had always told him that he must not use his heart to think. But Sungmin isn’t here now. Sungmin…isn’t here.
And a crying him jumped.
“Only when forever is through, then tell me those words again.
Because only when forever is through, will I stop loving you.
And at the place that a dumb me took your life away,
I die.”